SimplyLocalX presents
Shaadi Edition
The Wedding Command Center
One screen. One venue. Zero chaos.
Features Every Indian Wedding Desperately Needs
But nobody asked for.
Baraat Tracker
GPS-enabled groom tracking with live ETA.
Automatic "Dulha aa raha hai" alert when within 500 meters. Adjusts estimated delay based on historical data (average: 2 hours 17 minutes). Because the bride's family deserves to know he stopped at a dhaba.
Paneer Availability Index
Real-time food counter status. Crisis prevention.
Traffic-light indicators across all counters. Green = plentiful. Yellow = going fast. Red = CRITICAL. Automatic kitchen alerts when paneer shahi drops below threshold. The feature that prevents family incidents at the vegetarian counter.
Dance Move Scoring
Real-time scoring powered by gesture recognition.
Camera tracks your moves and scores them live. Proper bhangra shoulder shake? 9.4. Awkward side-to-side shuffle? 3.1. Your uncle scored higher — try harder. Live leaderboard with rivalry mode when two uncles compete.
Roast the Groom
Pay Rs.101 to put his embarrassing photos on screen.
Scan the QR code, upload the photo, pay the fee. It appears on the big screen for 30 seconds. The bride's side gets 50% off. The groom's college roommate has been saving photos for years for this exact moment. 92% Savage. 8% Cute.
Parking Lot Chaos Map
Live overhead map of the parking situation.
Which uncle double-parked. Who blocked whom. The auto-rickshaw that somehow got in. Estimated time to exit after the wedding: 45 minutes minimum. Valets on duty: 2 (insufficient).
Speech Duration Countdown
The timer the speaker can't see. But everyone else can.
Mounted behind the mic. Turns yellow at 3 minutes. Red at 5. Starts flashing "WRAP IT UP" at 7. Tracks audience attention level in real-time. Polite clap will be initiated in 30 seconds regardless.
AI Matchmaking Co-pilot
Quietly working so the aunties don't have to.
Silently evaluates all singles at the wedding. Tracks paneer counter visits (commitment indicator), dance floor timing (cultural compatibility), and aunty-avoidance speed (survival instincts). Confidential compatibility report emailed to registered aunties at midnight.
Bathroom Queue Timer
Ladies: 14 min. Gents: 2 min. Lehenga Room: 25 min.
Real-time wait times outside every restroom. Lehenga Adjustment Room available for emergencies only. Pro tip: the lobby restroom on Floor 2 has no queue right now. The feature every wedding guest secretly wished existed.
Auspicious Pricing
Because your wedding budget wasn't stressed enough.
Silver
per wedding
- ✓Baraat Tracker
- ✓Paneer Availability Index
- ✓Bathroom Queue Timer
- ✓1 screen included
- ✓Standard support (WhatsApp only)
Gold
per wedding
- ✓Everything in Silver
- ✓Dance Move Scoring with Leaderboard
- ✓Parking Lot Chaos Map
- ✓Speech Duration Countdown
- ✓3 screens included
- ✓Priority support (dedicated WhatsApp group)
Platinum
per wedding
- ✓Everything in Gold
- ✓Roast the Groom (Pay & Post)
- ✓AI Matchmaking Co-pilot
- ✓Unlimited screens
- ✓Post-wedding analytics report
- ✓Personal Paneer Concierge
- ✓Dedicated Aunty Wrangler
Beta Tester Reviews
Real reviews from real weddings. (Ok, “real.”)
The baraat tracker alone saved my marriage. My in-laws were about to call off the wedding when the groom was 3 hours late. The screen showed he was stuck at a dhaba eating chole bhature. At least we knew.
— Priya S., Delhi
We installed the Dance Floor Leaderboard at my brother's wedding. My uncle has not stopped talking about his #1 ranking. It's been four months. He's updated his LinkedIn bio.
— Rahul M., Mumbai
The Paneer Availability Index prevented what could have been a serious family incident at the vegetarian counter.
— Anonymous, Lucknow
Someone paid Rs.101 to put my college photo on the Roast screen. It was my wife. From the bride's side discount. I have no allies.
— Vikram T., Bangalore
The AI Matchmaking Co-pilot gave my son a 94% match with the girl at Table 11. I didn't even have to get up from my chair. Technology is beautiful.
— Sharma Aunty, Jaipur
Ready to Upgrade Your Shaadi?
Plans start at ₹51,000 (auspicious pricing only)